Attack of the What If's

I decided to check out some other weight loss blogs this morning. I was looking to them for inspiration, recipe ideas, that sort of thing. What I found was, eh, kinda discouraging. It seemed as though every single blog I looked at began with sentences like these:

"Well, I fell off the wagon again."
"I am ashamed to say I gained back everything I lost plus five pounds."

Holy discouragement, Batman!

Then the what if's begin.

What if that's me one of these days?
What if I fall off the wagon?
What if I gain it all back?
What if 'just this once' becomes 'okay, once more' and then 'last time, I swear' until I'm back to my old habits and fat and miserable on top of it all?

What if, what if, what if.

I can't do that. I can't be that person. But it's already happened before.

I lost 51 pounds from the birth of my first son until he was six months old. I felt great, looked great, and even though I still had another 20 or so I could stand to lose, I slacked off. Fast food breakfasts, a 2-liter of coke a day, one too many cocktails. Before I knew it, 20 pounds of that was back on. And then I was pregnant again. It irritates me that I did that to myself. If I hadn't eaten myself back up those 20 pounds, I would be so much closer to my goal NOW.

I'm doing things different this time. I'm doing things smarter. And I hope that's enough. Being a 'fell off the wagon' statistic is not on my agenda!

Menu for Sunday:

Breakfast
Blueberry pancakes
Total points: 4

Lunch
3 bagel pizzas
1 Hershey stick
Total points: 4

Snack
2 Haystacks
Total points: 2

Dinner
Cheese stuffed chicken paremsan
Garlic mashed potatoes
Green beans
Garlic bread
Total points: 7

Snack
Apples with caramel
Total points: 2

Total Daily Points: 19