Motivation

I have none this week.

Zero, zip, zilch, nada.

I don't want to work out. I want to sit on the couch watching reality TV and eating chocolate icecream. Am I? No. But I want to.

And I think I know at least part of the problem.

I don't see a fat girl when I look in the mirror anymore. I know, I know. It probably wasn't fair to ever call myself fat. But I was most definitely overweight and I hated what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Now? Not overweight (well, unless you look at BMI charts. Those fuckers). I don't mind seeing myself in the mirror. I'm smaller than I've been in more years than I can remember. All my clothes are falling off -- no exaggeration. I even have to fold the waist band of my work out shorts over a couple times to keep them from slipping off my boo-tay.

And I find myself wondering how dedicated I am to shaving off those last six pounds.

Are they important to me? Yes. They're very important to me. I just haven't been THIS unmotivated at all in this weight loss journey. And it sucks. It sucks big, stinky, hairy monkey balls.

Just SIX pounds. SIX! That's less than either of my children weighed at birth. It's do-able. It's do-able in an I-can-be-there-in-a-couple-weeks type of way. So why I can't I pull my head out of my ass? Why can I not quit thinking about chocolate chip cookies and brownies a la mode and bacon cheeseburgers and tearing into the Baby Ruth bars that I bought for Jaybird's birthday party. I'm pulling my hair out -- what hasn't already fallen out in this lovely postpartum period.

Things that are awesome:

Progresso Lite Soups. I had the Santa Fe Chicken for lunch today. It was only 1 WW point for a cup and it was super yummy. I'm not a big veggie soup eater, but I'm going to give some of their 0 point varieties a try. I thought I didn't like oatmeal either, remember . . .

Also awesome? Frozen chocolate mousse. It's *almost* as good as eating chocolate icecream. I can *almost* fool myself. Not quite, but close enough. I make it by taking 1/2 cup sugar free pudding (made with skim milk) and mixing it with 4 tablespoons of fat free cool whip. Put it in the freezer for about an hour and . . . wah lah! Nummies! It's also Jaybird and KyKy Man approved:

** This was Kyan's first time trying anything other than formula or baby food. I thought he was gonna pop out of his seat and get me if I didn't give him a bite. And he absolutely LOVED it! I think both my boo boo's inherited my sweet tooth. God help 'em.

Daily Menu for Thursday:

Breakfast
Apple cinnamon pancakes (the ones I made this morning was so hella good that I had to have more!)
Total Points: 4

Lunch
English Muffin Pizzas
Cup of soup
Hershey Bar
Total Points: 7

Snack
Frozen Chocolate Mousse
Total Points: 2

Dinner
Chili
Total Points: 3

Snack
Rice Cake
Total Points: 1

Daily Total: 17